21 and beyond

Thank god I finally turn 21 on Feburay 4th. I am drinking legally and theres only one thing I want a boyfriend I have someone in particular but they are "straight". I think I won't let them get to me the one other thing I would want is to go to austraila so I could meet my cool aussie friends. Other then that everything is good with me I got a raise at work and I make 8.06 now how awesome sorta. On a side not kris is going to work at my work he starts soon he got fired from his old job. On another side note if I meet a chick who is cool I might try and experiment with her and see if I could be bi or not. I think I am pure gay but who knows don't diss it till you try it I guess anywhos. Hopefully I get to post soon like on my birthday

A New Year A New Way

so yeah the new year is here and so 2007 begins lets hope it is better then 2006 was at least for me. I have a feeling it will be though. I have a couple of new year resolutions. My first one is to find a boyfriend for sure. My second one is to not let me and kris get into alot of fights this year. The third and final one so far is to try more adventorus things like pose for some pictures and try new sexual things. They sound fun and untill next time may the year start out fun for you also.

New Years Eve

Happy New Years everyone and may the year be good for you. Anyways the year has been good and bad today sucked. I was all emotinal and getting jealous over my secret lover hanging with this girl, he likes. I think alot of the emotions is because of my dad dying 2 years ago on this date but who knows. I will miss him alot and may he live in my heart forever. Anyways have a happy new years and don't forget I start my resolution tommrow to find a boyfriend.

Somethings In The Air

Besides all the christas magic in the year something feels weird I have no idea what it is, and everyone seems to be confusing me about diffrent things. One example is my friend nikki she wants to go with me and kris and see lisa but she doesn't want to spend the ngiht out there. I told nikki a couple of days ago to call me and tell me if she was going and what does not do she doesn't find out if she can go or not. Here I am on the brink of not knowing if she is going and I don't know if I should wait for her or not. Besides this promblem there has been some other ones as well mayeb in the future I will talk about them. Maybe the new year will bring me the answers I need or want.

Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone p.s. Mark said I wasn't his type o well now time to work on my resolution and maybe get someone special or the one I want

The Wait Around The World

Everywhere year everyone is waiting for one of the biggest events in the world and that is the arrival of St. Nick or Santa Claus. I always belived in Santa and part of me still belives in that christmas magic that lies out there somewhere. The holiday spirit is here and I am looking forward to the holidays. I invited my best friend Kris over and we are hanging out tonight on Christmas Eve. Then this upcoming week I am going to hang out with my best friend Lisa and her brother Chris. I haven't seen her since around March. I can't wait, well if I don't post tommrow for whoever reads this merry christmas

the question

so one of my friends asked me what I wanted for christmas which is fine and dandy she is like the first one to ask that well first it would have to e my lkover I told her that and she hasn't replied to me back yet. but then I thought what else and remembered my list but then I didn't know what I wanted again so I am going insane

It was 35 degrees this morning how awesome I love the cold air, I know I said it before it really makes it seem like Christmas is in the air and normally we don't get this weather like this, so it is a nice change. Tommrow rools in with group coming around and a christmas party gift exchange. The gift I am getting is like a 10 gift card for pizza hut or blockbuster. Anywho so my wish list has sorta changed
1. my secret lover
2. getting my bike fixed
3. queer as folk season 5 dvd
4. tivo
5. A camcorder to make videos for youtube

Youtube it's something I am getting hooked on they have cool videos and even some awesome music videos anyways, I have even started subcrisbing to videos there yays. Take care might have info about mark if I see him tommrow. I am going to go no matter what unless penguins take over the world then I am hiding

I am okay

so this past weekend sucked as I mentioned in my last post. I didn't see mark this week at group because I didn't go but this upcoming week I will see him if he goes my new years resolution this upcoming year is to get me a boyfriend

downhill

as if tonight hasn't gotten any better I might as well I admit defeat for my secret lover they won't be with me screw it. This whole love thing is driving me insane anymore and I might end up losing it and doing something I might regret. I might just go away for about a month and see if anything has changed for good. I love him and he knows it but he doesn't give a damn. Then this other guy eric who I like picked my lover over me in such a trivial choice. I said I wanted to sit up front in eric's car and I told him to pick me or my lover and he said he wasn't going to pick. For me that is defintly not me and if Eric liked me he would have picked me. I am going to change my christmas wish to getting my secret lover thats all I want I don't care what else happens I just want that one thing to last forever. I have even tried asking my dad who is dead to help me beliving that my dad would even give a damn about me but no nothing happened. I have even asked from a high power to help me but nothing has happened. I know if I don't get my secret lover then I am screwed in the relationship department for ever. I have asked friends and they tell me to get over him but it isn't so easy to just give up on the one person you love. Like I said before this whole thing is making me go insane and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be 50 and single with no one loving me but it looks that way. Sometimes I wake up hoping it was a bad dream and that in reality he was with me but I wake up to a nightmare.