Clover Field comes out 1-18-08

The longest week ever

I have noticed since Kris went to Mesa I noticed I have changed somewhat I haven't hanged out with Nikki in a bit and I don't hardly talk on the phone much. This week he is going to San Diego or the week after. I have also found a new show I watch constanty Naruto.

A Kiss Goodbye

Kris is leaving to Mesa sometime later today. He is then going to San Diego after awhile from there. I plan to go visit in October. More on whats going very soon.

The role in my life

i have finally figured out my part in life. It is simple I am surprised I hadn't seen it before. Okay so I am the helper the one who helps others out when they need help. Being the helper I can't fall love because I am always helping people out. So one day I need to find a helper to pass my job onto and then I can finally be with someone.

A drink and the truth

So last night I had some peppermint Schnapps, 2 shirmonoff twisted apple, and a wine cooler. I also told Kris how much him going to California. I think in all that it was a great night and we had fun and alot of conversation which is good. I also told somebody that I liked them but they aren't feeling that way. They like me as a friend which doesn't bother me because when they told me they were honest and to the point. They are going to help me out in the help mark finding a boyfriend department.

The Truth Unravels

He is leaving in like a month or so. I prayed for god to take me instead and I don't belive in god I need Kris in my life maybe I should run away with him. When he leaves a part of me will die maybe the penguin part or the part of loving I can feel it. I hope god doesn't make him go but instead takes me along and kills me instead of Kris

He might leave

So I am talking to kris earlier tonight and he is like o heads up I might be going to california to move and take care of my grandma. I am shocked and don't know what to say. One of my best friends might be leaving me. It isn't like we won't talk again but wow. I just don't want him to go and forget about me

On The Open Road

So I don't know what to do, I have thought about leaving Arizona forver only because there is no one here for me or nothing here. I haven't an idea what to do. I have a feeling there is someone here but that person doesn't like me in that way. I have thought about just ending everything, then I won't have to worry about all this depression crap. Before I leave there is one thing I must do and I will do, make Nikki happy. Once i see she is happy then I will decide if I need to leave or stay.

predicitons for the future

Scary as hell


http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/scientists-offer-frightening-forecast/20070421184009990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001

some quizzes I took

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 3.62

width="228">

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

Heterosexual

Bisexual

Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:


0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality

According to my answers, it is likely that I identify as
Sequential bisexual.

Complete set of results

Sequential bisexual:		4
Homosexual with some heterosexuality:		2
Concurrent bisexual:		1
Homosexual:		1
Past heterosexual, currently homosexual:		1
Asexual:		0
Heterosexual:		0
Heterosexual with some homosexuality:		0
Past homosexual, currently heterosexual:		0

Information

The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality was devised by Larry Kurdek, B. Berkey and T. Perelman-Hall. It is an extension of the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, recognising that sexual identities can change over time, people can identify with more than one sexual identity, and that asexuality is a valid sexual identity. The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality was published in the "Journal of Homosexuality" in 1990.

Take the quiz

Pride 07

Well pride was awesome for some parts but sucked. I had a great day for the most part but after it started to get darker the day sucked. Not all only were the gay strippers from the club dicks caberet not there but I pretty much told kris how our friendship was over. We were all dancing and having fun and then I see him making out with some random girl who seemed to be drunk and he knows when he does that it pisses me off. Couldn't he have done this somewhere else far from me. Then to make it even better I told him it pisses me off and he is like well I am trying to be happy and I am like well what about me I haven't had a boyfriend in along time and haven't had any fun with anybody in a long time and he didn't seem to care. Although I did see a really hot guy I guess he only liked hot guys from what I heard. So yes as usual my life sucks and I am sick and tired of being single and getting tired of it. I hate how everyone else's love life is going great and how mine sucks. Although I noticed something 3 of my friends who I have helped in various ways are doing somewhat awesome in the love department while mine is suffering maybe I shouldn't help anyone out. Overall pride great but sucked anyways I plan on going next year and trying to have a great year and I won't ask kris to go with me or pay his way in like I did this year.

PRIDE

Today is the early day of Christmas for me, gay pride in Phoenix. I can't wait it is one of the days I look forward to every year. It is like one of the ultimate holidays for me. Today also may start Operation Help Mark fina a boyfriend. I am getting Nikki, Kris, and Lisa to help me find these exclusive boyfriends.

Friday the 13th Part 1 and PRIDE

Wow folks yesterday was Friday the 13th yay. I don't know why I just love it for some reason maybe it is the fear people have with that day. It is rumored that the reason we fear the 13th of Friday is only because some people called the knights of templar were murdered on this day because the church was afraid of thier power. Well I have some big big big news GAY PRIDE in ARIZONA starts today. I can't go today but Sunday I will. Also Kris got fired from work but that is another story for another time. I CAN'T WAIT FOR PRIDE.

October Dreams

So I have been watchign that new show that premiered 3 weeks ago called October Dreams. It's about a guy who returns 10 years to his hometown that he left in order to find his self in life. It reminds me of somethign that I want to do one day. In other news I got 3 out of 8 of the after dark movies to die for. They are supposed to be the new type of horror that theaters don't want to show.

movie update sorta

I will have short recap of what is going on with the movie soon

12 days till pride 08

Anyways besides it being 12 days till pride in 08. I have learned somebody else doesn't like me this one kid named Josh. so I think I might just be single forever. On top of that happening April fools happened but the day was great and I didn't get fooled at all because I am well a genius. I fooled some customers at work into thinking I couldn't sell beer to them because it was election day and they got a laugh

So another kid who I like sorta doesn't like me and he would rather pick my best friend Kris who he doesn't know to sit up front. Once again fucking love sucks, my friend Lisa has a girlfriend, Kris has someone who likes him, nikki one of my best friends is like me also with no one, and so is my friend Robert. I curse all my friends who have love I have given up so much I fuckign work so hard try to do my best at work and even act my best around people and try to look nice. But no I can't get anyone I am meant to be alone. These people who breakup with someone and get someone aka Kris should share the secret it fucking sucks and I m not going to stand by like usual. I am tired of being last and I will do what I did so many years ago. Time to end some relationships.

It's A Heartache by Bonnie Tyler

It's A Heartache Lyrics

Its a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when its too late, hits you when youre down
Its a fools game, nothing but a fools game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown

Its a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Love him till your arms break, then hell let you down
It aint right with love to share
When you find he doesnt care for you
It aint wise to need someone as much as I depended on you

Oh, its heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when its too late, hits you when youre down
Its a fools game, nothing but a fools game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown

It aint right with love to share
When you find he doesnt care for you
It aint wise to need someone as much as I depended on you
Oh, its a heartache, nothing but a heartache
You love him till your arms break, then hell let you down
Its a fools game, nothing but a fools game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown

-------------------------------------------------------
Famous Last Words Lyrics by My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words Lyrics
Now I know,
That I can't make you stay.
But where's, your heart?
But where's, your heart?
But where's, your,

And I know.
There's nothing I can say.
To change, that part.
To change, that part.
To change.

So many,
Bright lights they cast a shadow,
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding,
I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding,
I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding,
I can't speak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

Can you see?
My eyes are shining bright,
'Cause I'm out here, on the other side,
Of a jet black hotel mirror,
And I'm so weak.
Is it hard understanding?
I'm incomplete.
A love that's so demanding,
I get weak.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone


Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.


These bright lights have always blinded me.
These bright lights have always blinded me.

I say.

Honey,
I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

'Cause I see you lying next to me,
With words I thought I'd never speak,
Awake, and unafraid.
Asleep, or dead.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay you'll be forgiven,
Nothing you can say can stop me going home.

Lights, Camera, and Quacktion

Up the street they are filming a movie called Kids In America (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810922/) It looks pretty cool and see them driving up and down the orad I might try and get pictures and I have seen Topher Grace but not up close. I can't wait to see this movie when it comes out maybe I will see myself.

So it's been a while since I have posted I have been busy like really busy working hard at work doing graveyards and second shift. This wek I only have one graveyard and 5 second shifts. It isn't that bad and gay pride is coming up april 14th and 15th yay

Welcome To The Black Parade/Emergency

Welcome To The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance




Emergency by Paramore

Yes Mark There Is God

Kris and Katy are broken up. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so happy to hear this but it isn't for what you think. If Kris asked me out again I would probably say no. I been hanging with my best friend Nikki these past late nights for like 2 hours or more. We just talk and laugh I love these nights it reminds me of when we used to talk for long hours on the phone. Doing this therapy is just what I needed especially when I don't know if I should be going for love or just staying single forever so that I am not tied down.

Celebrate

So lets see celebrating hmmm whats to celebreat a couple of things.

First off at work I work 2nd shift and 3rd shift both. I actually like both fo them because working 2nd shift for awhile I met alot of nice customers. 3rd Shift is nice and quiet most nights which gives me time to think about life and whats going on.


I actually plan to work on my newest story idea called Millenum. I think this one if it's good I migth try and publish and hopefully come August 07 I will read at group in the talent show along with a portion of Love Twist which I plan to redo and make better.


Phoenix Gay Pride comes Apirl 14th and 15th and I plan on going both days so I am looking forward to doing that so bad. Rock on Phoenix Pride.


Fianl thing with things to celebrate I figured I would post a happy song with a great beat to it.

The Llama Song, and Gummy Bear Song

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

The battle of 08

so the election in 08 is coming up soner then we think. We are already in March that means 9 more months and if this year was like last year it went fast. i can't wait to see who runs and ultimatly who will win me over. I got my eyes on some people but we shall see. Heres a link for youtube of the diffrent canidates running for 08.

http://www.youtube.com/members?s=po&g=-1

Blackbeard

RALEIGH, N.C. (March 3) - A shipwreck off the North Carolina coast believed to be that of notorious pirate Blackbeard could be fully excavated in three years, officials working on the project said.

"That's really our target," Steve Claggett, the state archaeologist, said Friday while discussing 10 years of research that has been conducted since the shipwreck was found just off Atlantic Beach.

The ship ran aground in 1718, and some researchers believe it was a French slave ship Blackbeard captured in 1717 and renamed Queen Anne's Revenge.

Several officials said historical data and coral-covered artifacts recovered from the site - including 25 cannons, which experts said was an uncommonly large number to find on a ship in the region in the early 18th century - remove any doubt the wreckage belonged to Blackbeard.

Three university professors, including two from East Carolina University, have challenged the findings. But officials working on the excavation said Friday that the more they find, the stronger their case becomes.

"Historians have really looked at it thoroughly and don't feel that there's any possibility anything else is in there that was not recorded," said Mark Wilde-Ramsing, director of the Queen Anne's Revenge Project. "And the artifacts continue to support it."

Wilde-Ramsing said a coin weight recovered last fall bearing a likeness of Britain's Queen Anne and a King George cup, both dated before the shipwreck, further bolster their position. So far, about 15 percent of the shipwreck has been recovered including jewelry, dishes and thousands of other artifacts. The items are being preserved and studied at a lab at East Carolina University, and eventually more will become available for the public to view, Claggett said.

Nearly 2 million people have viewed shipwreck artifacts since 1998, including at a permanent exhibit at the North Carolina Maritime Museum in Beaufort and at a maritime museum in Paris, project officials said.

Researchers shared some of their findings Friday at the North Carolina Museum of History. They said studying the artifacts will provide insight into the era's naval technology, slave trade and pirate life.

Blackbeard, whose real name was widely believed to be Edward Teach or Edward Thatch, settled in Bath and received a governor's pardon. Some experts believe he grew bored with land life and returned to piracy.

He was killed by volunteers from the Royal Navy in November 1718 - five months after the ship thought to be Queen Anne's Revenge sank.

updates

So yeah kris was basically taken away from me by his friend stealing girlfriend. Other then that I will never talk to her unless i have to, even if it means not hanging with kris again. It's something I will refuse to do. Why does the bad shit always happen to the good people and why are they always screwed over. Anyways besides that me and my friend Brianna might go to this group as well as my friend Josh or even my friend Eric. I seen Lisa she came into town a couple of days ago with Josh and my best friend Nikki. That was cool to see her a couple of days. With the leaving of my coworker Lawernce and him being assistant someone has to move up next promotion wise. i have a good chance at being assistant something I have wanted for awhile but to be honest, I don't want it. I will have to give up my weekends and even give up my thursday off. I don't want that though I would rather have thursday then anything because I gt it off for group. Anyways I have to work tonight so it means me missing out on LOST, but I will watch it in the morning or tommrow night. If anything next week. Also Heroes rules.

Miracle, Truly Madly Deeply, and Famous Last Words

Miracle by Cascada



.....................................................................................


Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden



.....................................................................................


Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance



.....................................................................................

The Secret Is Up

I am coming clean with the truth about the secret lover he really is Kris but I am guessing whoever reads this either knew it or figured it out. I just wanted to come clean and if he doesn't care that I am honest about how I feel then screw him, I tried getting over him but it doesn't seemed to have work. especially with this latest stunt his girlfriend Katy pulled today. My anger rises and grows I guess then means I will have to do some writing that way to cleanse my anger. Maybe I should just go to bed also.

Revenge?????

Is it right to sabotage a relationship at the point of losing ones friend to know you saved him. I think so and I am leaning towards revenge in the hope that maybe I can save him. Looks like if I am going he will to.

All By Myself

so yeah me and Kris aren't getting a apratment because it seems he would rather pick water over something like his best friend me. In the end it seems the good guys end up last. Looks like I can only survive by myself so much for my saying of we should help one another because we can only help ourself. Kris looks likes he will be taken away from me well for the record thats 2 points for betrayl and 0 points for me

Simple And Clean from Kingdom Hearts

You're givin me too many things
Lately you're all I need
you smiled at me and said,

Dont get me wrong I love you
But does that mean I have to meet your father?
When we are older you'll understand
What I meant when I said no
I don't think life is quite that simple

When you walk away
You don't hear me say please
Oh baby don't go
Simple and clean is the way that you're makin me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

The daily things that keep us all busy
Are confusing me
That's when you came to me and said,

Wish I could prove I love you
But does that mean I have to walk on water?
When we are older you'll understand
It's enough when I say so
And maybe some things are that simple

When you walk away
You don't hear me say please
Oh baby don't go
Simple and clean is the way that you're makin me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this moring
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before

When you walk away
You don't hear me say please
Oh baby don't go
Simple and clean is the way that you're makin me feel tonight
It's hard to let it go

Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this moring
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before

Hold me
Whatever lies beyond this moring
Is a little later on
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all
Nothing's like before

So I found a awesome site called makemewatchtv and you vote for tv shows and the guy has to watch them. It sounds cool.

Happy Belated....

Happy belated Birthday to the state of Arizona it turned 95 years old and still is kicking for 95. It became a state in 1912. On another holiday that just happened Valentine's Day. I hate this day with a passion because of course I am stuck on being single. Yesterday frustruated me for 2 reasons.
1. I am coming down sick

2. My secret lover wanted to hang with me and he wanted his girlfriend to spend the night at my place. This is coming from a guy who knows I like him but yet he still does this. It's like he wants to see me angry. So tonight is another night of group. Hopefully my friend Lisa and Robert come into town they said they might if they do I will see if they want to go to group.

Valentine's Day

So as usual I am going to most likely spend my Valentine's Day home alone and then that night watch LOST. I am waiting for a miracle for that one to just call me and tell me he was wrong and loves me but I know it won't. Am I fooling myself in waiting for him or should I give up on him. I have thought about waiting for him forever even if it means to the death. I would even pretend to love people who loved me even if I didn't love them in return.

You Are Not It

So when the newspaper arrived at work, I looked at the newest headlines and stuff and one article stoodout to me. Schools banning the game of "It" and also other games like tag. They say they are banning these games because of injury's linked to the games. I was actually shocked and dissapointed to hear this. I mean yeah people get hurt playing games and stuff but banning a game that has been going around for ages. I mean most kids know the game of tag. Why not ban other games like sports I mean people get hurt in them and can get hurt seriously, worse then one can in tag.

Lyrics for My Heart Will Go On

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And youre here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till were gone

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life well always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And youre here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Youre here, theres nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
Well stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Mysterious Lights Spotted Over Phoenix, Again
(CBS4) PHOENIX, AZ Nearly a decade after the highly publicized ‘Phoenix Light Phenomenon’, more strange lights have appeared in the night sky over downtown Phoenix.

Tuesday night, mysterious lights lit up the western skies over Phoenix and soon after, phones began ringing off the hook at radio, television and police stations from witnesses wondering what the lights were.

The Yuma Marine Base claims it has the answer. Base officials said the amber-colored flares came from training flights on the Goldwater Gunnery Range. They went on to explain that the amber flares are used as targets.

Witnesses said it appeared the flares were flying in a formation and base officials explained that the flares float down to Earth attached to parachutes.

Back in March of 1997, a huge object was spotted over parts of Arizona that many witnesses believed to be an extraterrestrial spacecraft that was drifting slowly and silently over the region. The ‘Phoenix Light Phenomenon” became one of the most publicized and well-documented UFO sightings in recent history.

The Air Force said they were flares from an A-10 but many critics said flares couldn’t fly on their own over such a large distance.

The Discovery Channel has done a special on the lights. A movie has even been made about them which recently came out on DVD.

Also on the site where I got this story is a video heres the link since I don't know how to get the embedded code http://cbs4.com/topstories/local_story_038103140.html

Anna Nicole Smith is Dead

Anna Nicole Smith Dies in Florida at 39
By SUZETTE LABOY
AP
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. (AP) - Anna Nicole Smith, the curvaceous blonde whose life played out as an extraordinary tabloid tale - Playboy centerfold, jeans model, bride of an octogenarian oil tycoon, reality-show subject, tragic mother - died Thursday after collapsing at a hotel. She was 39.

She was stricken while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino and was rushed to a hospital. Edwina Johnson, chief investigator for the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office, said the cause of death was under investigation and an autopsy would be done on Friday.

Just five months ago, Smith's 20-year-old son, Daniel, died suddenly in the Bahamas in what was believed to be a drug-related death.

Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger said a private nurse called 911 after finding Smith unresponsive in her sixth-floor room at the hotel, which is on an Indian reservation. He said Smith's bodyguard administered CPR, but she was declared dead at a hospital. Later Thursday, two sheriff's deputies carried out at least eight brown paper bags sealed with red evidence tape from Smith's hotel room.

Dr. Joshua Perper, the chief Broward County medical examiner who will perform the autopsy, said if her death was from natural causes, the findings would likely be announced quickly. He cautioned, however, that definitive results could take weeks.

"I am not a prophet, and I cannot tell you before the autopsy what I am going to find," he said.

Through the '90s and into the new century, Smith was famous for being famous, a pop-culture punchline because of her up-and-down weight, her Marilyn Monroe looks, her exaggerated curves, her little-girl voice, her ditzy-blonde persona, and her over-the-top revealing outfits.

Recently, she lost a reported 69 pounds and became a spokeswoman for TrimSpa, a weight-loss supplement. On her reality show and other recent TV appearances, her speech was often slurred and she seemed out of it. Some critics said she seemed drugged-out.

"Undoubtedly it will be found at the end of the day that drugs featured in her death as they did in the death of poor Daniel," said a former attorney for Smith in the Bahamas, Michael Scott.

Another former Smith attorney, Lenard Leeds, told the celebrity gossip Web site TMZ that Smith "always had problems with her weight going up and down, and there's no question she used alcohol." Leeds said it was no secret that "she had a very troubled life" and had "so many, many problems."

Smith attorney Ron Rale told The Associated Press that he had talked to her on Tuesday or Wednesday, and she had flu symptoms and a fever and was still grieving over her son. He dismissed claims her death was related to drugs as "a bunch of nonsense."

"Poor Anna Nicole," he said. "She's been the underdog. She's been besieged ... and she's been trying her best and nobody should have to endure what she's endured."

The Texas-born Smith was a topless dancer at a strip club before she entered her photos in a search contest and made the cover of Playboy magazine in 1992. She became Playboy's playmate of the year in 1993. She was also signed to a contract with Guess jeans, appearing in TV commercials, billboards and magazine ads.

In 1994, she married 89-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, owner of Great Northern Oil Co. In 1992, Forbes magazine estimated his wealth at $550 million.

In a 2005 interview with ABC, Smith recalled meeting Marshall at what she called a "gentleman's club" in Houston. "He had no will to live and I went over to see him," she said. "He got a little twinkle in his eyes, and he asked me to dance for him. And I did."

Marshall died in 1995 at age 90, setting off a feud with Smith's former stepson, E. Pierce Marshall, over his estate. A federal court in California awarded Smith $474 million. That was later overturned. But in May, the U.S. Supreme Court revived her case, ruling that she deserved another day in court.

The stepson died June 20 at age 67. But the family said the court fight would continue.

Smith starred in her own reality TV series, "The Anna Nicole Show," in 2002-04. Cameras followed her around as she sparred with her lawyer, hung out with her personal assistant and interior decorator, and cooed at her poodle, Sugar Pie. She also appeared in movies, performing a bit part in "The Hudsucker Proxy" in 1994.

In a statement, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner said: "I am very saddened to learn about Anna Nicole's passing. She was a dear friend who meant a great deal to the Playboy family and to me personally."

Smith's son died Sept. 10 in his mother's hospital room in the Bahamas, just days after she gave birth to a daughter.

An American medical examiner hired by the family, Cyril Wecht, said he died accidentally of a combination of methadone and two antidepressants. Last month, a Bahamas magistrate scheduled a formal inquiry into the death for March 27.

Meanwhile, the paternity of Smith's now 5-month-old daughter remained a matter of dispute. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern, Smith's most recent companion. Smith's ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead was waging a legal challenge, saying he was the father. An emergency hearing in the paternity case was scheduled for Friday in Los Angeles.

Lawyers were expected to discuss an emergency motion filed by Birkhead's attorney seeking DNA from Smith's body, Rale said. The reasons for the motion were not immediately clear, but an attorney for Stern, James T. Neavitt, was frustrated.

"There's no question about her being the mother," he said. "So what's the purpose of the DNA testing? Why do they need her DNA?"

Debra Opri, the attorney who filed Birkhead's paternity suit, said Birkhead "is devastated. He is inconsolable, and we are taking steps now to protect the DNA testing of the child. The child is our No. 1 priority."

The legal complications of Smith's estate could take years to unravel, an expert said. Christopher Cline of the law firm Holland and Knight, who is an estate planning specialist, said he has never seen a case "with more moving parts."

Outstanding questions include not only the paternity of her daughter, but if she died with a will and how her death will affect the lawsuit pending against the Marshall estate. It also wasn't clear where she legally lived when she died.

"It's a really large legal quagmire," Cline said.

Smith was born Vickie Lynn Hogan on Nov. 28, 1967, in Houston, one of six children. Her parents split up when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother, a deputy sheriff.

She dropped out after 11th grade after she was expelled for fighting, and worked as a waitress and then a cook at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken restaurant in Mexia.

She married 16-year-old fry cook Bill Smith in 1985, giving birth to Daniel before divorcing two years later.

AP Special Correspondent Linda Deutsch in Los Angeles and Associated Press Writers Sarah Larimer in Hollywood, Fla., and Ana Cholo in Los Angeles contributed to this story.

What A Awesome quote

"There have been about four men in my life that I could say I have loved...Call me a bugger if you like, but I don't feel the same way about women. One can always replace a woman in a few days" Aleister Crowley on his sexual orientation

Phone Experiment

RETURN OF LOST

Tonight one of my favorite shows returns to ABC, Lost. With 16 all brand new episodes to finish season 3 off. I love LOST because it is one of those shows that really makes you think about various things why watchign it. Thats all why I like Heroes and some other shows like Medium. So first off before I head out to get ready for tonight the one thing I gotta mention before anyone asks is, is who my favorite character is. It has to be either the wise and mystical Locke or even Jack the main character somewhat and the leader of the surviors.

Blast Off

Well I am finally 21 it doesn't feel any diffrent then being 20 but still it means I am closer to growing up. I had my first legal alcholic drink, it was a peach margarita it was awesome and tasted really good. I bought my first legal scratcher today a SLINGO and I won 3 bucks. I might go get me some wine coolers soon they taste so good. i am not in the mood for anything hard tonight maybe this upcoming week.

One Day Left

Here it is one day left untill I am 21 I can't wait although I will miss being young the thing I hate when you old is you have some many things to do. When you are a kid there isn't that much stuff to do. So I think I know what I am going to do for my 21st birthday. In the morning when I get off of work I am going to buy my 1st scracther card and then later on I will buy my 1st alcholic drink while I go out for birthday lunch then I will drink again during that night. The second night will be me hanging out with my friend Jackie and drinking. Also on a random sidenote some guy this morning at work was in circle k and we were talking and before he left he said by the way you are very cute. After he left I got so red because it was the first time someone had told me that ever. My seceret love has never told me that

I have put myself out int he dating scene I understand someone may be cool about hooking up this one kid I sorta met through a friend his name is Chris. Also I have changed my picture on myspace and put on up from around july it looks hawt if you ask me and 3 days untill my bday

21 and beyond

Thank god I finally turn 21 on Feburay 4th. I am drinking legally and theres only one thing I want a boyfriend I have someone in particular but they are "straight". I think I won't let them get to me the one other thing I would want is to go to austraila so I could meet my cool aussie friends. Other then that everything is good with me I got a raise at work and I make 8.06 now how awesome sorta. On a side not kris is going to work at my work he starts soon he got fired from his old job. On another side note if I meet a chick who is cool I might try and experiment with her and see if I could be bi or not. I think I am pure gay but who knows don't diss it till you try it I guess anywhos. Hopefully I get to post soon like on my birthday

A New Year A New Way

so yeah the new year is here and so 2007 begins lets hope it is better then 2006 was at least for me. I have a feeling it will be though. I have a couple of new year resolutions. My first one is to find a boyfriend for sure. My second one is to not let me and kris get into alot of fights this year. The third and final one so far is to try more adventorus things like pose for some pictures and try new sexual things. They sound fun and untill next time may the year start out fun for you also.